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Furthermore, Sarah stated she had no interest in spanking and your reply was that her desires with respect to that would mean zip, zero and zilch once she finds her dominant man and hands over the reins.

That's where I object and strongly. Are you saying she has no right to have that any limits? Are you saying once she submits she has to put up with anything and everything he decides goes, or else she has to go through the emotional and economic shattering that comes with a broken relationship?

Because if you are, then you are saying she has no rights. She isn't "taken in hand," she is a slave and not allowed limits.

Good will and believing that the man you are head over heels with will always have your best interests at heart have resulted in a lot of physical pain and heartbreak for a lot of women. No one is saying YOU are an abuser but I am saying your view of what's ok is at variance with what I hear the women describing.

Yes, I'm fine with a surgeon general's warning. At least, the BDSM community recognizes the dangers to newbies and offers helpful advice. Here what is offered is a bland assumption that she puts herself in hubby's hands and all will forever be well.

"Pat"

by "Pat" on 2004 Dec 21 - 23:01 | reply to this comment
Misunderstanding?
"Pat", you appear to have misunderstood what I said:

Furthermore, Sarah stated she had no interest in spanking and your reply was that her desires with respect to that would mean zip, zero and zilch once she finds her dominant man and hands over the reins.

What I said was that I am not a spanko, and that the only respect in which I have any interest in spanking is if it is the way a man is expressing his control, as in this article. I then clarified that statement confirming quite clearly (or so I thought) that the mere fact that the idea of being spanked doesn't make my pulse race does not mean that I would want to say "no spanking" to my man. Indeed, as I said, if it was the way the man was expressing his control, I would be all for it.

In another post, you posed the dramatic question, what if the man were to turn out to be a man who would require me to drink urine. Indeed -- what if the man turned out to be a monster who would require me to have an arm cut off to show my devotion? Or what if he were a violent thug? Or a terrorist? Or a paedophile? Or any other kind of criminal type? Or what if I suspected him of being a serial killer or a rapist or a cannibal?