That was a big concern of mine, but she and I have had lengthy discussions on that point, and I’m honestly not worried.
56 batman October 22, 2011 at 4:21 pm
wow, this is a great article and story. now i have something to throw to the pot…now i do use the surname batman, but i am speaking about my personal history here. now in life i am a “nice” guy…you know take care of my folks, designated driver when possible, all that good stuff. now about 3 years ago, i went through some personal stuff i was in therapy but hey…something it no work…just got to ride it out. so being a hispanic male i did what we i learned from my fater when i was stressed..i drank, HEAVYLY, ( BURBON BABY ! THE BEST THING MADE IN THE USA !) smoked heavly, did pot, coke all the traditional hitting rock bottom stuff. now this is were it gets interesting…during that period of about 8 months, the ladies just well were always around. now while i was drinking and doing all this stuff, i still keep my job..helped the folks, was in day to day life a “nice” guy….so in retrospect, i was never an asshole, but rather a nice guy going through some shit.
my point is this, we have to face facts that just as men love a challenge, women do too. and some women equate an asshole as a challenge. kinda like ” if i can get this arrogant asshole who only has room in his life for himself to pay attention to me, THEN i must be worth something ! i must be special !” . what is happening now in young men is that they see this behavior in women and think, I MUST BE AND ASSHOLE TOO ! what we need to teach young men, is the truth…love is not supposed to be boring.. so be a challenge. the problem with “nice” guys is that… the girl already knows what the end game is…”if i want as, a girl, i can let him fuck me” where is the damn adventure ?
returning to my story, so for the first few weeks of my drinking binge, i just wanted to suffer alone, so being a nice guy..i just went to bars to drink and not be alone. so no where in my mind was i thinking “OHH lets see if i can go home with that one !”..what happened? after a while of going to the same bars, girls just started noticing me..why ? i was a challenge..sociable guy, has a job, drinks, flirts….but never shows genuine interest in a specific girl… of course what these girls did not know is i left the bar to buy a bottle of bourbon before last call so i could go home and drink… but i was a challenge..nothing of my nice guy persona had been changed. now how do you become a challnege..who knows….
57 Heidi October 22, 2011 at 4:31 pm
Ted –
A woman who cheats (or lies by omission) would not be high on my list of people I trust. And, personally, I much prefer to get involved (either sexually or relationship-wise) with people I trust. So even though your asshole-ish ways landed you the woman, you’re with a woman who lies.
Falkenberg -
I don’t understand the too little too late bit. Can you elaborate?