My brother is one of those emotionally unavailable men because he is starting a business and understandably is very focused on that. I have seen the catasrophe and drama that his actions have caused, but I think he does it on purpose. He always comes to me for advice on how to handle these situations after things go really badly and I have given him the same advice repeatedly. However, he never listens because he likes the benefits of being with an emotionally available woman since he can get all of the benefits of having a girlfriend without having one. Telling her he is not ready for anything serious, but then spending enormous amounts of time with her, having her cook for him, going out together to places, etc.
I told him that he knows exactly what he is doing and that he knows and expects that by giving the disclaimer before dating that when she does fall he can say, “Oh, but I told you I didn’t want anything serious,” to absolve himself of any guilt, all the while knowing that is exactly how he wanted things in the beginning. He wanted her to fall for him so she would do what he wanted, but didn’t want to take responsibility for hurting her. When I told my brother this, he just gave me a sneaky smile.
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@KatWebb84? says:
August 29, 2011 at 10:40 am
"…he never listens because he likes the benefits of being with an emotionally available woman since he can get all of the benefits of having a girlfriend without having one."
This is how I feel ALL "emotionally unavailable" men feel, which is why I believe it's BS. You don't want any of the responsibility? Fine. But then you shouldn't get any of the perks. Simple.